Why bosses lie

Put on your curiosity hat — remember, you might learn something. To go back to the opening example, after the CEO pulled you aside, you might choose to relate that conversation to your boss and inform him that you avoided any discussion of previous opportunities — but also expressed enthusiasm about the chance to help her out in the future.

Be explicit about your moral code. Dan Ariely, best-selling author and Duke University professor, conducted research in which college students were asked to solve math problems and grade their own results. There was a bit of cheating. In later rounds of the experiment, the researchers asked students to recall the Ten Commandments before engaging in the exercise.

There was no cheating in those rounds. The more you talk about, and live by, your principles, the harder it will be for others to treat you in a morally ambiguous manner. Build strong relationships. If you have good relationships with your colleagues and become known as someone who sweats the details and always follows up, it will be harder to sustain a falsehood in front of you. Pay attention. By paying attention, you will be able to spot deceit earlier.

If you begin to suspect deceit, document it. Write down specific examples, save copies of documents, and see whether your gut instincts hold up when listed in black and white. Situational awareness is a skill that takes practice, looking, and listening.

If, after taking these steps, you find your boss lying to you again, it may be time to move on. A friend of mine once realized that her boss was highly supportive to her face but actively critical of her in private. In short, he was her enemy, and he was lying about it. While it can feel unfair to have to make a career decision because of a morally deficient boss, doing so can sometimes lead you in the right direction, if a bit faster than you otherwise would have preferred.

You have 1 free article s left this month. With only 31 percent of workplace romances leading to marriage, this just about never ends well: 24 percent of work daters had an affair with a married colleague; 6 percent had to leave because a relationship went south. Don't date the boss. And don't think the current pandemic has tamped down such relationships. Surprisingly, workplace romance appears to be on the increase despite the rise of the remote work environment. No, assets tend to be a company's greatest asset.

Employees are a cost, and companies tend to value assets and increased revenue far more than costs. In James' view, this is a particularly telling lie: "This kind of platitude, rather than reassuring employees, simply convinces them that you can't be trusted to tell them the real truth.

About a quarter 23 percent admitted to practicing favoritism themselves, with 56 percent deciding in advance which candidate they'd promote. With 83 percent saying favoritism leads to poor promotion decisions, it can have a detrimental effect on an entire workplace, study author Jonathan Gardner says.

Nepotism makes human resources departments' jobs much harder. It makes clear that a company favors certain employees over others, crushes morale, and lowers expectations that hard work will be rewarded. Nepotism isn't actually illegal, but employees know it when they see it and aren't amused when a boss lies about it. Ask for a copy of the company's last five-year plan.

According to James, you'll discover that few companies actually work on five-year cycles. Priorities and decisions can change year by year, depending on performance — and even that seems like a luxury.

The potential for advancement is a big draw for a company, especially if your boss suggests you're being groomed for a specific position. If you were promised training and resources that haven't panned out, you may have been lied to.

Employees should give their boss a chance to explain first: Restate your goals for advancement and ask about the timetable for moving forward. If a boss hedges or dodges, it might be time to consider a move, Stacy Lindenberg, owner of Talent Seed Consulting, tells Monster.

A boss who claims to keep their mind and ears open but proves especially stubborn can be a huge problem for employees.

But there are ways to argue a case without being insubordinate. Find areas to compromise and document every step of the argument along the way. A boss's hope is that an employee will be more successful; their job is to get the best worker performance they can.

That may help a boss rise through the ranks, but it won't make an employee better. A boss stealing a great idea or taking credit for it? It happens way more often than we can express.

Don't get confrontational about it, though: Document your work, talk to them about it, and, if it keeps happening, talk either to human resources or consider going elsewhere.

Just be sure you weigh the severity of the situation and pick your battles. Chris Matyszczyk, who advises on content creation, advertising, and marketing through his company Howard Raucous, notes in Inc. You can tell your boss anything, but you shouldn't expect it to be confidential. How do they act when not under pressure? What does their laugh sound like? Do they tend to fidget? These are all good observations to take note of. But check out these lesser known tells.

A lie can not only be spotted by the words being said, but also by how the words are being said. Kinsey Goman says liars often exhibit these vocal behaviors:. Granted, there are lies and there are lies —the kind that can implicate one in a crime.

After all, this is the person who signs off on your raises. Could you tell me again what you meant? Could you use some help seeking out new more honest employers? Join Monster for free today.